My inhibition is inhibited

As I write all that comes to mind

No going back, no doubt

Transferring it from mouth to paper

Time is ticking

I gotta make to make it count

Pour whatever’s there out

Problem is

I have nothing to write except the blankness itself

Perhaps 4:26 isn’t when myself emerges

At night is when the magic happens

All of it is too bright right now, I can’t see clearly

General acceptance is where it’s at

A foggy tiredness clouds my mind

General ambivalence to to my life right now

Hooked on what I don’t have

Seeking an artificial high perhaps

That’s also on my mind

I got the lace

Not on the face

Throughout the tank comes the wraith

I’m that’s why

Where is the energy?

The light is within but where

Seems I need to embark on a quest

To find that amidst the darkness

As I grow up I realize the reality of life

It’s not all perfect and wholesome as I’ve though

No santa doesn’t exist

Seems I’m realizing 

How prevalent drugs and sex are

There everywhere

Behind the fabric of society

And they’re tempting me

But is it that society that teaches these things are evil

But perhaps it has to do with my morality

What is right and wrong

I’m working on making myself a 10

How can I want in others what I am not myself

And being a 10 is more than being attractive

Perhaps it’s my lack of motivation right now

From being saturated with quick pleasures

Or the mere idea of it being a lazy sunday

My eyes droopy as I quickly type this out

Napping in the sun is a revitalizing experience

Surrounded by sounds of ambience

The drawback is the sharp sun

Penetrating the softness and comfort of my bare skin

Warming it up to unfavorable heats

This piece’s going for an extra minute

I’m not trying to make it look pretty

Just to get the thoughts out

Coloring this canvas

Riding the waves to the 

Bum bum bam bum bum bum bam

Piano echoing, beat slapping

Disgust showing on my face 

Due to the foulness of this song

And by that foulness

Like the stinkiness of blue cheese

It’s good

“Don’t Come Out the House” – 21 Savage

The new trend for only me

Is self discovery

Finding the light amidst the smoke

Like a wise guy says

“They can’t fuck with the light”

Loving myself for my tendencies

And finding the good breaking them

What feels good maintains

I ain’t no word warrior

More like a guy rocket launcher

Blasting these words straight into your face

This girl’s been on my mind

Upon regaining consciousness, she’s the first thing

Among others

But to express that is the difficulty

And to take a chance on something

If anything, my mind is my greatest enemy

Self-doubt and fixation on everything besides NOW

Consume my being bit by bit

And always, the monkey monkeys around

Ohh ee oh ahhh!!!!

Pulling me to whatever is there

My inner being is conflicted

My morals upright but unwilling to love myself
Perhaps only a phase passing through

But really rooted in the deep

All that exists is now

My mind analyzing what happened 10 minutes ago

Or what happened earlier in the day

In this galaxy with all the cosmos and magical forces

All compounds into my being here

And so it commences, the overture of this poem

What sets the boundary between poetry and writing?

Is poetry beautiful, or ugly?

Or simply poetic as the sun rises?

Poetry is far more than a structure built in a correct way

flowing, free, amorphous,

it is life within the gigantic cosmos

It’s about time I’ve departed from this world

Henceforth I’m gone on a thinking spree

To cure the bleak haze that clouds my brain

Into the unknown realm I venture

Populated by the unlimited varieties of life

Too often I catch myself living in a world spurred from imagination

Dwelling in my mind’s own creations

My being drinking a cold one on a beach of another planet

And as such I fail to acknowledge where I am

Now

Writing this is like an anchor

Holding me here, 

Only tempting another gust of creativity to carry me away

In these lazy dog days of summer

This young puppy is even more active than ever

He is energetic and restless

Panting and grinning stupidly

Constantly searching for dopamine rushes

That will bring immediate surges of pleasure

And make him hop in circles

After which he again embarks on the hunt

For more and more satisfaction

Continually continuing

It’s tough containing him

As he pulls and pulls on his leash

Every moment he threatens to break free

Seeking randomness and whatno-

Oh look at that youtube video

Summer nights are beautiful and almost magical

Around is a theater of the endless night sky

With the galaxy’s stars speckled across the sky

Shining clear and true in isolation from mankind

In the air lies a mellow tranquility

As the coolness from the heat of the day is a solace for all life

Furthermore, there is a refreshing quiet accompanying the darkness

In the background track a cricket chirps

With the sounds of life here and there sounding

Giant trees loom above

Serving to protect me like the walls of a fortress

As I lounge in this half broken, dusty lawn chair

I am on my island, my solitude from the worries of the world

Where I drift away

On a trip across the lands

Venturing into the great unknown

To a place powered by the raw turbulence of mother nature

Where life’s mausoleum has much to offer

Filled with projections of energy

Pure and untampered by

The touch of mankind

Between my two ears is a station

For trains of thought

Coming and going throughout the day

Some stay longer than others

Some come on a recurring basis

Most are random

These aren’t your normal trains, huffing and puffing

They are silent yet imbued with life

Glowing with all types of colors

In the station they reside, inviting exploration

Then in the dead of night, they depart

Fading, only to later return from oblivion

And so the station is unmoving, yet ever changing

Growing as these trains are housed

 

I can only hope for one of unfathomable proportions

With trains everywhere whizzing back and forth

In flashes of color

And in their brilliance

Forming a great rainbow station

Every so often

There comes a time

When all my ties to this earth are severed

And I am free to drift away

Like tumbleweed in the wind

Lighter than the air itself

Relaxing warmness fills my body

All my stress is gone

And the tension eased away

I fly among the clouds, floating freely

What a wonderful world